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Noah Patterson, 18, likes to sit in front of several screens simultaneously: a work project, a You Tube clip, a video game.To shut it all down for a date or even a one-night stand seems like a waste.“We are far less accepting of pressured sex.” But some experts are concerned that the drop-off reflects the difficulty some young people are having in forming deep romantic connections.They cite other reasons for putting off sex, including pressure to succeed, social lives increasingly conducted on-screen, unrealistic expectations of physical perfection encouraged by dating apps and wariness over date rape.’ But for me, it’s not anything about chastity or fear of sex. For example, some young people speak disparagingly of the messy emotional state love and lust can engender, referring to it as “catching feelings.” This generation has also grown up in an age when it is possible to inflict suffering in ways that are both hidden and horrifyingly public, such as cyberbullying or posting compromising pictures online.In such an environment, young people have developed what some see as necessary defenses and others view as thin skin.“The nature of communication now is anti-sexual,” said Norman Spack, associate clinical professor of pediatrics at Harvard Medical School.“People are not spending enough time alone just together.

Delaying sex is not necessarily bad, experts say: Being intentional about when to have sex can lead to stronger relationships in the long run.There’s another gorilla in the room: It’s whatever is turned on electronically.” Alexandra Wolff, 19, had hoped to find romance in college.In high school, she and her friends were so focused on schoolwork that they did not date.“It ends up putting a lot of importance on physical appearance, and that, I think, is leaving out a large section of the population,” said Twenge, who teaches psychology at San Diego State University.“For a lot of folks who are of average appearance, marriage and stable relationships was where they were having sex.” Unlike in face-to-face meetings where “you can seduce someone with your charm,” she said, dating apps are “leaving some people with fewer choices and they might be more reluctant to search for partners at all.” It does not help that many millennials are relatively unfamiliar with the kind of down time it takes to really get to know a partner.Claudia, who did not want her last name used because “I don’t want all my professors reading about how I’m a virgin,” said her parents worry. I’m just like, ‘Eh, it’ll happen.’ ” Millennials have been called the most cautious generation — the first to grow up with car seats and bike helmets, the first not allowed to walk to school or go to the playground alone.

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