Think of it as Gmail for strangers: the communication on the site is about two people getting to know each other; the romance comes much later,offline.
Outside researchers rarely get to work with private messages like this — it’s the most sensitive content users generate and even anonymized and aggregated, message data is rarely allowed out of the holiest of holies in the database.
While you may think it looks like you’ve typed “Hey, how’s it going” or even “You seem really down to earth,” we can tell all you’ve actually typed is “Control C” and “Control V.” Even if we can’t, you're at some point bound to send your template to the same person twice and get caught like the unfortunate fellow below — or worse, you’ll send your supposedly individualized message to two women who know each other, like the guy who asked my roommate and I both if we were Brazilian. back up, users who write "sexy," "beautiful," "hot," or "cutie" in their initial messages have a below-average response rate.
Of course, they do so with a special purpose — dating — but the interface provides no specific prompt and enforces no limit on what or how much anyone types.And in terms of effect, it seems readers have adapted.The best messages, the ones that get the highest response rate, are now only 40 to 60 characters By considering only messages of a certain length, and then asking how many seconds the message took to compose, we can get a sense of how much revision and effort translates into better results.But the downward bend of the trend lines is a wingman in numbers, saying don’t overthink Now, the first vertical on the left, the messages that took no more than ten seconds to write, represents an inordinate amount of the whole and should raise some eyebrows.It raised mine for sure, and at this point I’m so jaded my face is frozen — Botox has nothing on ten years working at a dating site.But I never even considered that apologetic users like this one were inferior to me until they informed me of their own inferiority. After all, arguing before you’ve even had a date doesn’t bode well for the rest of the relationship.